kudos to d lord...

dis(acc. to me) is a disclaimer - fr those who cant appreciate satire or humour in its raunchy form kindly dnt read fr u might jst constipate on d hogwash dat'll follow dis...













college fests r an unholy matrimony heaven n hell, whr d beauty of heavens descend down upon us in deir mortal form n d beasts of hell cut loose to gawk(i hope u gt my drift...;-)...girls r beautiful no doubt n some girls r more so, which acc to me is d severest means of discrimination by nature...no wt m saying is by no means chauvnistic n hear me out b4 u call me a "^$%*#%*&!"...nw acc to charles dickens(fr dose who dnt know him he ws a prick n fr dose who do know him, i think he ws a prick;-) so dis white-beard nerd proposed dat nature always works out everything acc to d best possible option available n d fittest shit on d planet survives...



nw superman might hv bin frm krypton bt i doubt whether d man of steel ddnt go thru puberty n hd freckles or ddnt gt tongue-tied talkin to louis lane...nw he wanted to live as "clark kent" is a diff matter altogthr, mayb he wntd to pursue celibacy fr all i know bt wt m sayin is dat mayb, jst mayb if dicken's theory ws true, nature wuld hv workd out dat all red-blooded men gt attractd to beautiful women n churned dem out dat way in droves...so mayb dickens(shit!!...dat ws a mistake) theory is all chicken-shit n i'll tell u xctly hw i came to observe dis interesting piece of completely useless jaywalking dat i did n u shuld avoid...





so yea v hv dis collg fest in a coupla days n d balls hv strtd rolling(nw dat ws a stinky joke wsnt it??..;-) n guys being guys r looking everywhr meanin dey r hvin a field day...nw as i said i ws jaywalking(dats a term jay leno gave birth metaphorically...it means walking aimlessly n observing shit thngs people do n finding humour in dose idiotic things)...so dese 2 grls walk past by n wt dese 3 guys do r check dem out in d primitive way(i think its my subjugate duty to inform u dat in dis case primitive means- "not subtle";-)...n dese grls r so completely aloof as if dey r unaware of oder existing species on dis planet...d guys hv goggled n dey move to d next thing...nw i ws walking behind dem n dis is wat ws d rxn of d grls...i tried hard nt to eavesdrop bt sweet audible voice is always unfilterable...



grl 1(thru d side of hr mouth n almost bristling) : dose guys chckd me out??...luk at dem...deir guts...scoundrels...

grl 2(speakin in a funny way) : no dey ddnt...

grl 1(nw indignantly) : yes dey did...i saw dey did...

grl 2(luks at grl1 n archs hr eyebrows) : ok...

grl1(giggles suddenly n infuriatingly hard) : dey did ddnt dey??...

grl2(luks ahead n a twitch on d left side of her face, mayb smiling) : yea dey did...

grl1 cnt contain hr unappeasable excitement n breaks in2 a song hum in 10 seconds flat wid an almost unnoticeable spring in hr step....





i'm boggled so i stay back n try 2 think about d mechanics of d female mind...i cnt so i come n write dis blog....cn sum1 pls explain wt transpired to dis lost blogger??;-)...

d frst buk review....well almost;-)

emotion or commotion??...wat is it??..dat thing calld love...dats d basic premise of d buk...yea its d name of d buk..."dat thing called love" written by Tuhin.A.Sinha...


Its nt really a bad start fr some script-writer who used to write lines fr some StarPlus/StarOne kinda shit serials dat r d biggest glycerine consumers single-handedly, d absurdly exaggerated camera movements dat made d cameraman seem lyk he ws tripped out on drugs, d plotting women n d sole bhartiya naari who leakd lyk a monsoon tap, d husband who'd b eithr b busy screwin or bein screwed, d one vamp in d serial who's eyes would alternately flame up along wid gut-churning SFX masacra(i gt d spelling rt na??..) n background score dat could put some death metal band to shame...

by d way y am i talkin abt dis crap wen i wuldnt ever in my senses??....aaaahh yea...dat book...as i was sayin nice try by sm1 who has written lines lyk "main tumhare najayez bachche ki ma banne wali hun"...d whole book is set at a languid pace throughout which smtyms irks u no end...yet it perks up often , d infused undercurrent of d rambunctious protagonist's struggle to cum to terms wid d past n present smtyms serves up a delicious palate of whiff bt it isnt enough to last u d book...

D words spoken by d persons in dis bookr kinda out of my league i guess...u might lyk it...i ddnt...its sketchy to b accurate bt some of d characters r well-etched out...however, d woman for who our guy falls isnt conjurable enough...mayb i lack d imagination...mayb d author left it to gud cause...

all in all my verdict...an ok breezy kinda read if u want to delve in2 relationships in general...sketchy bt survivable...guess dis guy could do better nxt tym around...

guess I'll b watching ur nxt Tuhin..;-)

dat thing about plans...

I'm backk n 2day's diatribe u all will have to accompany again...please bear wid me for m in a reflective mood...

The vagaries of life can b measured only wen u set a plan...a definite course of action u want to tread upon in ur life...d whimsicalities of it can den b remarkably funny n atrocious...god bless ur soul if ur my kind though...;-)

I 1ce had a plan...it was beautiful...i basked in its sunshine for one whole month...dat tym i was a stoic kid of 15 yrs...i had a vision u c...a plan dat needed execution...now i am a still a visionary...however i sell vision nowadays -2 ne1 who has d distinctive ability to rattle d rooster's cage("the white tiger" expression) v live in...u c nowadays i hv realized d difference b/w living a dream n living a dream...d former's better...;-)

my plan was formed not on a drunken night but on a night wen i read FPS...yes i wanted to crack IIT...dnt gt me wrong...d mosaic of mesmerizing dreams has its own charm n i was held captive...captive 2 d thousand coruscating flashes of light dat promised me i could do it...yes i was drunk...high on d success of living my dream...it was not to be...d dream lyk all things of my life corrupted n corroded in2 a satire of inertia dat wound me galaxies from it all...IIT b damned...just lemme pass dis tym god...pleeaasss god...dnt lemme flunk again...it's amazing how wen u dnt plan things, dey prioritise demselves on deir own...plans i had...i still do...only d inertia binds me...

now i am 19 n in college...b4 entering i had a plan...doin well...gettin a job(maybe...;-)...in short i had a long term plan...however lyf is an intricate wrangle of deceitful truths dat can b ur mate n yet screw up ur fate...now i have a vision..short-term one though...n dat is-SCREW PLANS...i know someday i will yield back 2 dat spiral of anticpation which comes wid a plan...till den i have d next bit of bad news to luk forward to...;-)

I have a frnd who was crazy...she made plans...lots of dem..she exercised d muscle b/w her ears far too much...strained her brains out literally...den smthng happened to her...n she gt d drift of wat was coming...inspite of her plans, things were gettin screwed up...sm1 told her(aahhhmmm...;-)2 lighten up a bit...she lightened up waaay 2 much...now she enjoys pissin off profs...n now m worried...

but u know wat??...screw d plan n njoi d free fall for a while...trust me...nothin in lyf is worth d plans...

P.S-even IIT wasnt...;-)

P.S.S-n no its nt d case of sour grapes...;-)

The histrionics of nether kind.

If you are a grl, a woman, or anything remotely close to d XX chromosome, I will take the post-independence democratic liberty to tell you here and now that you wont like this post. This ain't sexist but look who's talking.

Girls are curious and I have a severe case of obssessive observation disorder syndrome-meaning I watch and observe, and when I have too much free time to spare, sometmes ponder on things which have eventually cumulated into this post. Dunno what Eve will say but then again, she retardedly screwed up her only chance of being the one to touch Adam's adam and reign as the only one...and then they came.

Now I'm no mind-reading psychologist but what little I have of my abilties, I'l try to delve into the "she" psychology...;)


A little teaser that accompanies a date- The guy's in his best behaviour all throughout, he never burps loud, never talks about how Manchester Utd beat the living crap outta Tottenham Hotspurs last match, he holds out the chair for the lady while she's about to sit and holds the door for the lady as she's about to enter. The lady chirps- You know why the chicken crossed the road?.
The guy- No, i dont.
The lady- To prove it wsnt chicken
The lady bursts into laughter. The guy quickly morphs his expression into a laugh.

Then the bill comes...

Scene I- The guy's about to take out his wallet n pay up. The girl speaks up-I never expctd this from you. The guy sits down, his expression bordering on befuddlement. What??
Why cant women pay their own??-the lady asks in a tone that only good food and wine can induce.
The guy tries to say something which is lost in a tirade against men and the discrimination women have had to face since d tym of Eve(or ws it earlier??).
The guy sits lyk a scrounged up lemon and pays half the bill...
The woman never complains wen he holds out d door fr her again.



Scene II- The guy asks- Should I pay the bill or do you wanna share??.
The woman gives him a basilisk stare that chills up his innards, chilling up his intestines that the gourmet had just warmed up. The guy gets his answer n bucks up fr what's coming.


Nothing comes.

However, a tornado of scorching intensity rams up in the ladie's mind which goes somthing like this- unchivalrous,uneducated,unsophisticated,ill-mannered,uncourteous scoundrel...doesn't know how to talk to grls or behave.
The diatribe doesn't start until she gets home and gets on the phone with her friends, then it's an avalanche of words that get showered on the guy who was doing his bit to show equality.



Oh yeah, equality is a dichotomy best exprssd in thought and action by the homo sapiens of XX chromosome. They serenade fr equality n den deserve reservations...dichotomy ne1?? Or did I hear you male chauvinistic ^@#&* ...

Parading around for true love is certainly one thing n then deciding to hog on the fattest goose available later is something that doesn't get into this small head of mine. I mean how would it be if I go around with a grl all my life and then this cute chick cums my way earnin a 6 figure sum(Godspeed and touchwood..;) I hop onto the bandwagon...gt married...help her to get ready to office, drop her off in a car, give a good-bye kiss and drive back home. Put the dishes to washer, clothes to laundry, den go out and rent some DVDs and invite some frnds for soccer matches and pool. Heaven eh??... :D

Understanding girls anyone??...

I'd rather go for Bill Gate's daughter. Shes easier.

Oh I frgot. Ever been on a shoppin trip with girls??
Someone said- Sanity and shopping girls go the opposite ways... and salesmen try covering both...pity them.



P.S-This is for all the girls out there. Read this as a purely observation based blog and you'll b fine...;)

P.S.S- The truth doesn't hurt half as much as somemtimes u people do.

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diwali@tumkuraaaaaa

i suppose d title is sufficient n efficient to convey my despairingly irrevocable decision to spend my week long holiday@tumkuraaaaaaaaaa....


waaaahaaaaaa...ruckus is one way of saying of wat i hv made of my holiday...mental case is noder way of describin me...n to describe tumkur i'll take d rest of d space...thnk u...
located 65 kms away from bangalore, it's a 2 hr journey by bus...u cn go n come by train as well if ur nuts enough...local trains are wow out here (get my drift??)... d refreshing stench of a pan masala(fused with the sambhar) gazing ostensibly at u on d floor is remarkably distinct...n d constant chatter of d kannada language, d mildly pleasing smell of stale sweat, d chips being sold adds to d prevailing serenity....dnt get me wrong i hv nothing against tumkur local trains...most local trains across d length n breadth of dis nation r no bttr...jst replace sambhar wid local delicacy...thing is i dnt hv nethng fr tumkur local trains either...moving on...


tumkur is an amazing place in terms of weather...here u cn enjoy all 4 seasons flat in one day...d morning will b chilly n d water will look revolting as u gaze at d running tap wid d brush n soap in ur hand...my record is 11 mins...as d sun rises, d chill will dissipate n it'll warm u up, making u wish u hd taken a bath in d morning...(dnt wry no1 will know abt it, jst use a bit of deo...maaan i wish dey sold deo by kgs out here...wishful thinking...newayz) n by evening as d sun goes down d temperature will dip as much widout provocation as sherlyn chopra wen asked to act...dere will b a bit of rain or dark clouds...n by night u'll want to cuddle inside a blanket n go to sleep n thank heavens dat u ddnt take a bath...actually u might even promise urslf to hv a bath next morning if ur doped or smthng...


coming to d infrastructure i only got one sentence...it needs a lot of water, n most in d form of perspiration...na yahaan maal hain n na hi mall hain..lucky me eh??...
d only place to hang out if ur dating is a place cld coffe'n'cushi...(dnt ask wat it means...most probbly d guy who owns it is married, so take a wild guess who set d name..;-)...n wen u go in u cum out wid ur purse n stomach both empty n burning...d large pizza dere is amazing...cums in a bowl which is an inch longer dan d regular soup bowl...nvr ordered d small pizza...i guess it cums wid a microscope n surgical forceps...


d grls i wont comment on too much...n d localiites??...haha...dats a parody...most of dem march arnd as if dey own dis place n v r goddamnd aliens out here...nt lyk dere rnt gud localiites out here bt most r jst dat...localiites..get my drift.full stop.
dats it fr now..more on tumkuraaaaaaa later...fr now lemme cry ovr d spilled milk...


y does god keep teaching me lessons eh??...i hv no desire to learn...








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quantum of shoelace...n d name aint bond...

the beauty of college lyf isnt d melancholy dat accompanies it within a while bt d sheer no. of classes u cn take in even wen ur system n brain is numb/dead/harried/morose...n d list continues...

as i realized horrorstruck some days ago, bunking isnt an option ne longer...a miserable piece of dumbass(also known in othr words as a "professor") informed me with an almost indecent enthusiasm dat he'll detain me if i bunk ne more of his classes...big deal- i snorted thru my nose 1ce wen i ws out of his earshot...den i realized that he ws my proctor...shit!!

some days ago i realized during the physics class dat i cn sleep with my eyes open...well almost i guess...d symphony of d drone during d physics class is the best lullaby ne guy who hsnt hd a good night's sleep cn ever have...classes come n go...n with each chapter comes a new resolve to start studying from scratch... n den resolves come n go...an interminable wait fr d next chapter 2 start again...lyf's astonishingly ironic...

1ce u start attending some electrical classes, itll affect everythng in ur lyf...physically emotionally mentally psychologically physiologically biologically n most importantly...spiritually...coz 1ce u attnd some clses at a stretch, u'll start doubting the existence of god...

humans hv discovered ways to spy on countries from space bt d essential things still go awry...cnt dey invent a foolproof proxy system??...self-writing pens??...making teachers lose deir memory??..ahhhh...d cruel ironities of lyf...harry potter ws lucky...

mid-sems hv started...dey r sort of internal exams where d profs gt to screw d student's balls(nt all...gt ma drift???...) as a warm-up b4 d real deal gets dished out...in the morning there was maths n den it ws physics frm 3.45...maths ws even...physics ws even worse...tommorrow's electrical...

no srsly does god exist??..

P.S.- i wntd to personally apologise to all d dickheads who invented & modified quantum mechanics...i hv rewritten all rules of quantum physics 2day...sorry de-broglie, heisenberg, chadwick, einstein, newton(ws he involved in dis tomfoolery??...dunno man bt still i owe him an apology...i hv raped his laws often enough) n all other morons n buffoons who hd a say in inventing n changing laws of quantum physics...

lyk i did 2day...:-)