Artistic pleasure and creativity are a sacred breed in today's world as I found out much to my dismay coupla days back. If u have a wave of rebellious and flawed sense of humour, it makes ur work even harder as a trying-to-be-funny-writer. More so if u have a sister who can find an artist's blemish in a Picasso, a friend who thinks that ur a dumb nutcase with a chasm-wide understanding of how and what is to be said where and when and lastly, if u are me...;)
Well, disclaimers aside , I think my last blog was funny. Sadly, the people I came across piggybacked my descriptive wit and told me to write something better cooked and served, and not how and when I proudly announced my father to be a piano player in a whore house and my (almost) escapades. I was hurt. And I decided to jam with God over this. Yea don't blink allright. U read it right. I had a well-nutritioned discussion with God(yea, the Chetan Bhagat one. Just not that serious. I guess he was in some Bruce-Almighty phase or something.)
So yea , I was reflective this Sunday, sitting alone and mulling over world affairs. God came suddenly, and sat next to me. I was hardly surprised by his arrival. U c, I considered myself important enough since childhood to warrant a trip from God himself.
God:- So Arijit, say how's it going?.
Me:- Everything's ok mate. Just thinking about the world and all. The happenings going on.
Dunno why at this point God slyly arched his eyebrows when he looked at me. Slowly, he let out a crooked grin.
God:- World eh? U know who u r lying to? U were just thinking about ur life...
Me(defensively) :- Well yeah. When did I say my world doesn't revolve around me?...
God(sheepishly):- Oh yeah that's true man. Sorry I misinterpreted. And ur thinking that ur life sucks eh?..
I looked at this guy. He was middle-aged. Not a white hair on his body like those cheap mythological TV serials. He was dressed in a crisp linen white shirt and a pale blue jeans. His soft hair looked windswept, as if he had just paratchuted into my room. Well maybe he had. I just didn't give it much thought. Apparently, this was one cool God. I wondered if I could use a profanity.
God grinned - "Well, u can though I wouldn't appreciate it u know. There are certain customs that ought to be followed. Swearing in front of your elders isn't that up in my list but then again, u r some1 who u r. So it's upto u kid." He smiled. It was beatific, an all-knowing grin. This was really cool man.
Me:- Thanx Sir-
God:- "Don't "Sir" me. I'm allergic to it."
I stalled. I strained my brain for a topic. Nothing came. "What do u mean when u said that? I am who I am? What was that?"
God looked thoughtful just for an instant. Then he said-" U r a puzzle Arijit. Well, all of us are. Even me. I'm a puzzle for people out there who have to figure me out for themselves. U r a puzzle which u hv to figure out for yourself. There are people in this world who throw in the towel just coz there's no way out. Trust me when I say this but there's always a way out--
I had to interrupt him. "That is pure crap. Forgive me I just swore but u know what?. U have made this cryptic but there's no reason for that. Innocent people have no reason to die just 'coz they have been caught in the crossfire. It's one thing to say Karma and quite another to actually get a life out here . U deny that?..."
God smile again. It was innocent. " I like fire son. U have fire. We all do. It dies out. U know why?Situations. Circumstances. Ethics. It' s jungle that I have created out there. You can accuse me of partiality son but never accuse me of injustice. I have my ways. They are class and they work. That's why I still have the job kid." He gave a goofy grin and continued-"Sacrilege is acceptable for otherwise you'll never realize what u have lost. You need to cry. Not coz that imbibes faith in the Almighty and makes u realize you are nothing but a mere vulnerable insect in the scheme of my things. No. You need to cry just to make sure u never cry about the same reason twice. Yes people are dying out there. It never makes me flinch. You want to know what does?" He stopped.
I stared, held captive by the charm. He was charismatic, a strange mix of the euphoric and an effervescent craze. I nodded lightly.
He continued-"People are commiting suicide out there man. Why? Low grades. Lost love. Debt. That makes me flinch of what I have created. It makes me want to send a catastrophe out here. Maybe then people will realize what they are shoving around. Life isn't a commodity you bargain for death. Always remember that Arijit."
Heavy. It was heavy. Yet, this guy sitting next to me made sense. But time was up. I didn't realize it yet.
"Do you know why you are talking to me now?"-God asked.
I had no clue. I mean, come to think of it I actually had no clue AT ALL. I was an atheist after all. I was sure he knew that. So why me of all people in this universe?
I negated. "Dunno"- I said.
He grinned. " I saw a T-shirt couple of days back. U know what it said?"
I negated again. I was almost a rag doll in front of him now. I was doing his bidding. Of the guy I pretty much hated. Of someone I didn't believe in.
"I was an atheist until I realized I was God." The smile was child-like, captivating.
Then it was gone. Nothing. I dropped to the the bed, swaying as a heavy mist of sleep clouded me. I hadn't asked him any questions. He had not given me answers. Yet, I found some answers. Somewhere. I had to figure out my puzzle myself. That was what I was meant to do. And God was within me.
Or some shit of that kind, I thought as I lulled off into a dreamless, seamless sleep.