Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Of Exe's and Flames..

"Y-o-u comple-te me-e-e."- Jerry Maguire said to the lovely Dorothy Boyd, his angst and love sweeping across his eyes in the cult classic "Jerry Maguire". That line went down as one of the oft-repeated phrases in the history of our times, a (for the lack of a better word) premonition of the statement "I Love You". There was also one statement which struck me as pure genius in the same movie and the statement was "We live in a cynical world. A cynical, cynical world." The depth of this sentence had more gravitas as compared to what followed and what made half the movie-goers cry and sniff. It was an oxymoron of a sentence and yet, it made sense. No one cares about the world being cynical as long as you complete me. And that in essence conveyed the spirit of the lovely, sometimes digressing but engaging movie "Jerry Maguire".

Which bring us to my title. Of exes and flames. Of love, lust and power games. Of egos, tears and sardonic smile. Of male, female and inherent guile. In this cynical world, a relationship fails to work 7 out of 10 times. The standard reason?? Relationships are built on expectations and expectations are relationship killers. Carnage results the first break-up. Second time mistrust. Third time desperation. You blame the universe for it's conspiracy against you. Life goes on innit?? Let me tell you all folksy about the story of the ex and the flame.

The ex is the past. The flame is the burning past which doesn't let go. Try hard not to cross paths but chances are that you will see him/her somewhere. Some exes are mature enough to be friends while some turn out to be friends with benefits(legen-waitforit-D-A-R-Y). Majority however, are stuck in the warp of love, lust, dislike, hate, mistrust and the biggest of all- Memories. If you chance across her, how would it go??..Here's a short transcript with thought bubbles in italics and actual conversation in bold.

Guy and Girl in the supermarket. A year since they broke up an then, voila!! Guy turns a bend while girl is picking something off the bottom rack. Guy halts

Guy: That looks like her ass. Hang on. That is her ass. That is her. Crap!! RUN. NO. Stay. Just look a bit more. NO. Stay. Run. STAY!!
Lesson 1: A guy will never lose focus. Even in times of impending mental trauma and confusion, his mind is objectively clear about his wants and desires.

Girl turns. Guy turns. Seconds late. She has seen him checking out her posterior.Here, for assumption's sake, let guy be X and girl be Y.

Y: X?..X?..X!!.

Lesson 2: The girl never loses being the equivalent of Muammar Gaddafi in a relationship. She in fact, misses the status quo and tries to set the record straight. Just in case.

X: Hey. Y? Y. Didn't see you. Yeaaah. It wasn't you who I was seeing. That melon could have been anybody's. So how have you been? Long time. No. Don't look down. Look into her eyes dammit!! Not there. No! WOAAAHH!! NAAIICE. I missed you two easter bunnies all right. NO!! IN HER EYES. Yes. Good.

Lesson 3: Clarity of thoughts. Guys think in a linear progression. Predictable. 

Y: Been good yea. Look at him. So depraved. Thank God I broke up. Lusting at my back and now right in front. Been caught up in some work so couldn't get through to you. Been wanting to talk to you for quite a while. What a guy. Uff!!!

Lesson 4: Girls were born with the gene of multi-tasking, thinking something and saying something else entirely. Kudos!!

X: Yea right. Was in a relationship with you so I do understand what you actually mean now. What you mean is that you want me back. Ha!! What work? Office or something. EYES Dammit EYES!!..Look 

Lesson 5: Guys can't understand what going on in your mind. For guys, until you break it down, your thoughts and your words are the same. Guys were born without the EQ gene.

Y:Just here and there. Yea Office too. I should get going. Too many thoughts coming up. Listen I gotta go. Wish we were still together. He is still adorable in his innocence. Aaawwww!! Will catch you later. Cya. Bbye.

Lesson 6: Flash from Justice League once tried racing against the oscillation of a girl's thoughts. He lost. So did Rajnikanth.

The last bit was lost on the guy since he was lost somewhere. Just like all of us guys are now and then when it comes to girls. Our ending of 'now' coincides with the beginning of 'then'. Vicious Circle!!

P.S.- Just an observation ladies. Don't get all judge-mental. Drop me a line. Cheerio!!..;)


swati said...

nice work...n nice observation...sry...but cudnt help getting "judge-mental"...

ark of conwheals said...

Thanks..and if u got "judge-mental", i guess the blog worked..

swati said...

sure it did i guess...though m wondering whether this post is just an "abstract" thought of urs or directed towards something...

ark of conwheals said...

Cant figure that one out myself..but come to think of it maybe an abstract that came out of something..